Canary in a coal mine

Many of you don't know this but I have a reputation as a canary in a coal mine.

For what you might ask? For food poisoning.

And I lived up to my reputation this weekend after nearly two years free of bad food (okay, I've had crappy food but nothing that made me literally vomit at least).

Somehow I have developed a very fragile little ecosystem in my digestive tract and all of my happy little symbionts are VERY susceptible to food poisoning, making me equally susceptible to all of the loveliness that this involves.

Want to try that hip new Indian place? Great! Let's bring Erin! If she gets sick, we just won't go back...

In fact, several years ago I spent a fabulous New Year's Eve in the bathroom of the friend of a friend because my dear friend took me to that hip new Indian place for dinner and I got hit bad. I'm still convinced that her friends from graduate school think that I'm just a sloppy drunk.

And it's a shame too as it can really spoil and otherwise lovely place to eat. I normally have a bad meal once or twice a year although there was a year or so in graduate school where I was getting nailed by something every month or two. Only once has someone else been afflicted by the same meal.

This weekend was probably my own fault. Sunday I was running late on my way to the office and I wanted to grab something I could eat at my desk, so I stopped at a local Burger King. I even ordered a burger when it's normally the chicken that will get me at a fast food chain (there's a chance that the afore mentioned New Year's Eve was actually ruined by a sketchy chicken mcnugget). I finished my work and got home.

So I'm sound asleep when around 3am I wake up with the awful feeling that my run of good luck had just run out. Of course I had to lecture at 9am and I am so seriously behind my syllabus that there was no way I was cancelling class. Fortunately I managed to not run to the bathroom for about an hour before class so I went in and just hoped for the best.

There is probably nothing like your professor warning you that she could vomit at any moment (oh, but don't worry, it's just food poisoning) to wake you up at 9am on a Monday. Well, at least that's what the expressions on my students faces were saying even if they didn't say so.

Amazingly enough I made it through an hour lecture with only brief pauses to make sure I didn't need the trash can I had placed strategically next to the lectern. Of course I immediately went back to my office, told the wonderful woman in the office next door what the situation was and gave her permission to call me at home if students came looking for me, and drove home to sleep through the rest of it. By the evening I was able to hold down simple food and life was looking better.

Oddly enough I spent the next day with the stomach pain (but not the nausea it is important to note!) and hardly ate anything. However, Ruth suggested we meet up with someone from out of town for dinner. I ordered possibly the most idiotic thing I could have without getting a burger, a BLT with avocado and a giant order of fries for the three of us to share. I figured either I was okay or, failing that, sitting on the outside of the booth with a direct line of sight to the bathroom. Well it turns out that the pain was because I was so hungry that it was no longer recognizable as hunger and by the end of the 1.5 lbs of french fries, I was feeling surprisingly better.

Good times, good times...

The only bonus is that the head of my department overheard me laughing about it with someone else in the department and now thinks I am a stud for teaching under the circumstances. Of course I was just teaching out of fear that I wouldn't get through the material in time for the next exam but hey, I'll take what I can get.