Ruth

I've been thinking since Wednesday about how to describe Ruth for those who didn't know her. We met through a online fiber group (spinning, weaving, knitting etc.) and met in person when I was living in Santa Barbara and she was down in LA.

I moved down later that year to teach at Claremont and Ruth immediately took me under her wing and made sure I met as many people as possible. I didn't know anyone in town other than Marius and was just getting to know the folks with whom I worked. She made it a much easier transition for me as it normally takes me a year in a place to start to meet people and I only had a year in LA.

Other people have already written about her enthusiasm and her great capacity for joy. I want to write about the rest of her because I think it is a side some people did not quite fully realize existed. She was a particularly amazing person because she was full of insecurities. This does not sound like it makes sense but give me a second to make my point. I get the impression from others that she did a great job of hiding this but she always wanted to be one of the cool kids, even as an adult, and never felt that she attained that status. But instead of those insecurities manifesting outwardly as snobbery or cruelty or even just self-absorbed pity, she did everything in her power to help other people feel like they fit in. She completely understood how isolated someone could feel when they were new to an area, a hobby or a group. She welcomed everyone as though they were her best friend and that did not change even when they let her down periodically. I still remember talking to her about a friend who had been using her rather blatantly and Ruth still wondered if maybe this friend would change their ways. She always wanted to give folks the benefit of the doubt and she hated to think that she was the cause for the end of a friendship. Her joy and enthusiasm made her fun to be around but her compassion and empathy are what really made her an exceptional person.