5 months!

So I hit five months this week. It's amazing how fast time is passing. Helena is kicking up a storm and no one is embarrassed to ask when I'm due because it's obvious that I'm pregnant at this point.

In fact, that's the oddest bit about it all. None of this process has gone the way I expected. So many women romanticize their pregnancies, even after the fact, that I did assume certain things would happen that just haven't. Granted I also assumed I'd have terrible morning sickness and managed to skip that as well fortunately.

However, these days the thing that impacts me the most is body dismorphia. I'll catch a glimpse of my profile as I walk past a mirror or a window and just think, "What the hell?" I do not recognize myself anymore when I catch glimpses out of the corner of my eye. I know I look pregnant but the reality is a very different thing. I've never fantasized about being pregnant or how I would look so this is all of a bit of a shock to the system even if I knew it would happen intellectually.

It has got me back to knitting finally though. I'll post photos as I finish things. Not everything is for Helena though. It seems that my world is full of pregnant women these days so I have many babies for whom to knit over the next several months.